To Whom it May Concern

Do I use love in vain?
Not only its body, but its perfect name?
I used love as an adjective of the feelings
That had me on my knees kneeling
Crying to the Lord, tears not concealing
And my want for you was submissively revealing.
You taught me real pain
Like the beginning of a hard rain
That never ceases and keeps the slain, slain.
There was never a lust,
Maybe in the beginning but really trust,
That my desire now is to know your heart beat
And to recognize it when it beckons me.
Your eyes are soft and your words are sweet.
It’s like every day is the first time we meet.
The physical distance has never been able to stop
The ticking of my hearts biological clock.
I am only a woman, but my love is tough.
You’re just a man, but are these words even enough?
To make you feel the same
To make you want the same.
It’s like I’m stretching my hand out to no reply
And you’re watching but you can’t seem to comply
Is my love for you in vain?
Is your heart rightly mine to claim?
I am in a period of waiting,
For confirmation, or a bad heart breaking.
Please inquire the presence of the King,
I’m weak in the core and He’s asked me to sing.
Take my place and ask Him for me.
I am too tired and our future I cannot yet see.

The Mute

The Mute

I will speak for the ones who have no voice
The ones who seem mute to us who have a choice.
I will lend my back to the broken many
Who have never climbed to the sky and received plenty.
I will give my food to the ones who hunger
And my drink to the ones who constantly suffer
I will spread my words to the far and near,
Who have bloodied ears but hearts to hear.
Oh earth, hear me your children are dying!
And all of your sons are not complying
They speak of sadness and even begin crying
But there are even tears who play the game of lying.
I will not be idle and shut my heart
When babies face life’s battles from the start.
I will rejoice in the Lord who has given me a voice
To speak to the ones who are mute without choice.

The House of Dolls

That night mare was a night marred.
Black as coal and coal was charred
Leaving hearts so flat and hard
Oblivious to the thing you scarred.
Let you in let your full reign ring
Well my freedom was lost when I heard death sing
Your little puppet, doll or fling
But only to you I knew how to cling
Little girl little girl
Little girl in a big big world
Found the oyster but lost the pearl
Found the beauty but lost the curls.
I was your favorite when you needed fun
Nowhere to hide, I better not run!
How was I to know the color of the sun?
When my house was the very thing it seemed to shun.
Dress me up and make me pretty
Plan my whole day and design my city
Oh on me don’t you take pity
Just control me; your little itty bitty kitty.
Aren’t you glad my mouth glued shut?
That your hands controlled my legs strut
Baby make me anything BUT
You pierced me right inside my gut.
And then. I saw what they called light
Never seen it but knew I was right
Took me away and on new heights
This little doll took an enormous flight.
I’m Sorry for my bad behavior
And for leaving all my plastic neighbors
I am done with all this boxed in labor
Gone to live with my Lord and Savior.

Lost Generation. We are.

Ian Thomas, a Christian speaker once said, "The Lord Jesus died on the cross not just to get you out of Hell and into Heaven. He died upon the cross to get God out of Heaven and into you."
The past few weeks I have been trying to understand what he meant. I was thinking to myself, "Does this mean that every thought and every action I do belongs to Christ?" The answer is yes.
Today's Christianity has tainted the idea of what being a Christian really means. Other religions are rapidly growing because many people believe Christians are hypocrites. It is so frustrating! According to religioustolerance.com, 22% of the world's population is Muslim, and that number is increasing day by day. They are the second largest religion in the world. Did you know that in America, for every 1 male convert to Islam, 4 females convert to Islam? (themodernreligion.com). Recent surveys have concluded that 56% of the people who claim to be Christians don’t read the Bible. Most of us believe that saying the “Sinner’s Prayer” is all we have to do. Getting into heaven is good enough for us, as long as we do not have to follow all the rules. We pick out things in the Bible we want to follow, and ignore the ones that we don’t. To say “I am a Christian” today means little when the character of God is not present. I sometimes lose the Character of God as well. It is a part of who we are as humans who were born into sin. But society continues to tell us it’s “Ok.” Since when is the world’s version of good and evil okay?


You’re not going to like this.


We allow ourselves to indulge in the worlds pleasures, pleasing ourselves more than we please the spirit. Every time I think about this, I think about the verse that says, “Do not quench the Spirit”- (1st Thessalonians 5:19). But we grieve the Holy Spirit all the time. Think about it, is your spirit hungry? Do you find yourself being incomplete in some way, searching for fulfillment in money, clothes, sex, mindless fantasies, relationships, violence, alcohol, or drugs?

Jesus loves you and me. So much.

As a person who has received the beautiful gift of salvation and seen God at work, I don’t want a mediocre Christian life. I want a life of fulfillment and abundant Joy, living for Him. Sometimes we forget why Jesus came to earth. He left His glorious body and home in heaven to live among scoffers, heathens, the sick, and sinners alike. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10). The thief is Satan, the “prince of this world”. You could say that it is the world itself, stealing away truth and joy. But Jesus came so that we could live. Live ABUNDANTLY. His life on earth was a living testimony to how we should live our lives. We walk around with all this pride, exalting ourselves and trying Drakes version of “Successful”. We are forgetting about the people who are lost, hurt, and blind. Blind to their calling and blind to the word of God and truth. We think God owes us something. We deserve eternity in Hell; that’s what we deserve. It sounds harsh, but please hear me out: You are not your own. We need to stop seeking His hand and start seeking His face. Jesus said we were brought with a price, and that price was paid in full that night He died on the Cross for you and me. It should have been us hanging up there, being taunted and mocked by Satan. But it wasn’t.

I hope you can hear my heart in this.


Just a thought.

Fighting God

If I was the author of my life's script then I would surely construct an disastrous plot.

There are so many times when I rip the pen away from Him, take it into my own hands, and write out what I want to happen.There are plenty of times when I find myself arguing with God and His plan. It just does not make sense to my human mind. I want things to happen my way, right now. I want the life I have always dreamed of,with no exceptions added. How selfish am I to think that God owes me anything. I am a sinner who deserves eternity in hell, but it is by His grace that I am saved. But, I still get frustrated.

I was reading the in the New Testament, Luke Chapter,4:1428, where Jesus taught a sermon on Elisha the Prophet. His statements about prophets sent the crowd into a frenzy, so bad that they wanted to throw him off a cliff. Scripture says, "All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this."They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him down the cliff. But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way.(Luke 4:14)" What happened in this situation? The crowd did not accept what Jesus was saying, so they wanted to kill him because of His truths. As a result,Jesus walked away. That is what He does each and every time we fight with Him and argue with His plan. He stays silent. He is not a God who answers to our anger. He will walk away. Oh, He will always come back, but He will not hesitate to show us our place. I picture Him saying: Child, you are not listening to Me. And that is just what we aren't doing: listening. It can be very difficult when you have people around you who seem to be getting everything they want, and you seem to be stuck in this idle mode. It reminds me of James 4, which says, "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." How many of us can relate to that? We fight with not only God, but ourselves because what we want is not aligned with the plan He has for our individual lives. I have asked God for things that I know were only for selfish gain.

Who enjoys discipline or rejection? Not me! But I have had to go through it to get stronger. There are people who have made their way into my life, and I would ask God how long would they be in my life, not even thanking him for the people who have been in my life for so long in the first place. Yesterday was my 20Th birthday, and every birthday the first two people to wish me a happy birthday were my parents. Before she called me, my mother sent me a beautiful text message, which basically told me how proud she was of me. Forgetting my birthday, I cried. I balled my eyes out because it made me realize who I am living for. God shows His love to me in many ways, and one way I believe He has showed it to me is through my parents. They have sacrificed so much for me, from having to be homeless without a dime, to selling a business that was going bankrupt. And what was I doing? Worrying about my social life, worrying about my future, worrying if I would ever fall in love, and other petty things. I am alive because there have been stronger people before me to set the pace. I am alive because God did not leave me in that broken place of depression. I am not the ideal woman, I do not have the best body, face, any of that. I am a quiet person,who expresses emotions through words. Because of that, people take me for granted.

For so long I was angry with God. WHY DID YOU MAKE ME THIS WAY??, I would always ask Him. I cried and cried over these things.I still cry over these things. But slowly I became to realize that I was made in His image, for an unseen purpose. I can't see what is ahead, I can only hope and pray. But I refuse to fight. I can win against Satan, trample a demon, destroy a temptation, but I am not strong enough to win a battle against the Great, Almighty One.

October Baby!

Happy October!!! :)

The weeks are going by so quickly that it is hard to keep up with the many blessings that God has in store for this season. I remember it like it was yesterday when I came down to Virginia to start the semester, and now a whole month and a half is gone! I love this time of year; the weather is cooler, the leaves change pretty colors, and I get to celebrate my 20th birthday. But out of all that I can say that we have been blessed with another month on this chaotic earth. To be alive during this time is a special blessing that many people did not receive this morning. It is also a challenge because we all know how difficult life can be. I want to encourage you to stay strong in the Lord. Right now, I am going through a season of loneliness. I am totally convinced that the Lord wants me to himself this semester. I have my friends, and they are very few. I used to ask the Lord to surround me with a whole bunch of people so I could feel loved. But He told me that He gave me a few friends to be blessed with, so I would not get lost in the crowd. Maybe you have many friends you hang with, maybe its you and your best friend. Or maybe you think it is just you. But it is never just you. Its you and JESUS. Right now, at this very moment where you are sitting, Jesus is in your presence and you in His. We cannot physically see Him, but we have to Know He is omnipresent.



I have a tendency to be on my own a lot. I like reading and writing and I am into the whole artsy idea of life. I like to paint the picture of things in my head. One thing I cannot illustrate for myself is this season of loneliness. I did not sign up for that. I truly believed it would be one where I met a lot of people, but it turned out to be the exact opposite (Isn't it funny how God works?) But I am excited for what is to come. I cannot see my future but He can! Today in convocation at my school, our speaker was telling us that in the Bible when people wanted Jesus to do things for them, He would ask them a question. In the chapter of John, there were two blind men who desired for Him to heal them. He asked them if they believed he could heal them. Their reply consisted of two words: Yes Lord. Yes Lord. If you are going through a season like me, and you have no idea why, just say Yes Lord. Tell Him you trust Him and that you know you don't have the keys to your joy, but He does.

Have a good and blessed month. :)

Poem: Someone hasn’t cried today

Sometimes I just need Him to break me.


Someone hasn’t cried today

You should have felt the knife when it pushed through your back,
But I guess numbness comes with blindness.
I wish I could just shake the life inside of you,
And tell you all of your mistakes.
You have no idea how much it pains my heart
When those fowl words come from your lips,
When you have no respect for me or anyone around you.
You sit there high and mighty, apathetic to your surroundings.
You neglect my character,
And give free entrance to the wolves of the world.
You are blind to their hunger,
How they want you dead.
Oh how they want to kill you!
My friend, hear my words
I come in concern.
My heart breaks into two pieces,
But I am not worried,
Because if there was a way,
I would give you the other half,
So you could have some sort of love,
Some sort of feeling.
If God hear my cries,
I would ask for your deliverance.
You cannot hear me,
But I know he can discern my words through my stutters and tears.
Don’t think I am a perfect straight line,
Because I am a zig zag gone wrong.
There are dark spots on this picture,
But He has painted over them with pristine white.
They come and go,
But he will remain, you see.
Don’t you?
If you will not hear my words,
Then hear the love song he sings to you,
When you cheat on him with many men.
Many, yes they are legions.
Your frown is stapled onto your face,
And you have no remorse,
I cannot wait till the time when you say,
Friend, I have cried today.